Loneliness begets nothing but negativity. Self-pity, anger, rage and frustration ... these are manifested profoundly as contemplation on the current situation rages on inside. They say "misery loves company", but then again, whose company do you need? This shroud of misery enfolds me, and I yearn to get out. I want to be held, to be loved and cherised, treated like a princess. I want to feel alive again.
Separation's hard, despite the rightness in it. Marriage was a disaster. Divorce is the outcome. I fell apart as I realized that he married me for just one thing: entertainment for when he had nothing to do. Well, obviously, a lot more happened that finally clinched the end. It terrifies me that I will never feel safe with anyone again. Will I always suspect people's intentions? Why am I so confused? Will the next one walk into my life and trample all over me? Will I be taken for granted again?
2 comments:
you know something... there is a lot of pain in what you have said. I have gone through the same situations or maybe more... but that's quite wrong to say if the new person will trample you all over. Dont close yourself so much,just think that this might be a chance given to you by the almighty to find a better partner. Even I havent been able to console myself that I need to find someone to fill my lonely life, but just let the past be a past and try and look towards a better future. cheers :)
Life always has a way to even stuff out - the scales balance evntually! And believe in Karma - what goes around, sure as hell comes around.:-)!
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