Building relationships – not breaking them

'Breaking up' is undeniably the easy way out of a relationship. How many have failed just on a whim, a trivial fight or a petty argument? The trouble-free path out lie in the words "It's over".

I know I walked out of a marriage, perhaps in the eyes of some, just as easily. I have firm reasons to back my decision; and to date, have no regrets for taking a step away from becoming an emotional wreck to building a future with hope today. Hurt assails us all. Things change. People transform. Life still goes on.

Anger comes so easily, yet peace plays a game of hide and seek. To find humour in the midst of a fight or argument, can be quite a challenge indeed, but is a wonderful reprieve. Many a liaison has fallen apart because of lack of time. Time is too precious to devote to each other. Lives are wasted at work. Friends and networking seem more important than love. With little effort we take granted that one special person who we pledge love to. Cracks mar the foundation, the bloom wilts and finally the structure so beautiful crumbles into a heap of misery, failure, grief and self-pity. Can it be rebuilt? Is it worth the effort? Sometimes people just grow apart – with time they change and take different paths that do not meet again.

The element of jealousy descends with a purpose – reasoning is clouded and judgement is concluded. There's no right or wrong when it comes to jealousy. People just feel the way they do. No justification required there – it's a tough call; and a damn difficult choice to live with – but if it can be curbed for short durations, can be nurtured and guided to something more positive.. Jealousy stems from insecurity. It's our human failing. Insecurity is a dangerous companion; clubbed with jealousy, it's just pure venom.

Nonetheless, the duration of a relationship is not necessarily proportionate to the amount of feelings that can be generated. Whether a break-up happens in a week, a month, a year or a decade, the pain is as intense as the relationship was just before the break-up.

What makes a relationship work? Beats me. There are a million articles out there and another zillion movies on it. Everyone has an opinion. Mine is this – love, trust, truth, honesty, respect, faith and last, but not least romance. Keep the spark alive by making the other person feel special always, and things fall into place. I dare to hope to someday find one that works. Sure there'll be fights and tears – but at the end of the day, if you can make each other smile – hell, it's worth every salty tear! Focus on the things that you have in common, the things that bind you together instead of the things that set you apart.

Visions for the future, a promise for tomorrow – a wish for today – sigh! I feel dramatic and want to reach out for something special. Sometimes I feel like a loser. I have a romantic twist of mind. I love doing little things to keep the relationship sparkling with excitement. I want the romance to blossom. Somehow, to date, I haven't found a reciprocal. I still have hope that it will take that special someone who'll sweep me off my feet – fairytale romance come alive!!!