Thursday, July 24, 2008

Lies

How many of us justify white lies? I know that I do. I rationalize them when it serves a selfish purpose. I know that there was a time in my life when lying was probably a deadly sin that I would not even put on my consideration list. I don’t know when that changed. I have values embedded deep down, but do not necessarily follow. I want to reconnect to the person that I was when I had them clear.

Lying, cheating (in class): these are two areas I really want to address. I am not a habitual liar – I stretch the truth on occasion to get myself out of a sticky situation, to cover up something that I do not want to explain or to throw a shadow over an activity that will not be understood.

I would definitely never want to lie to my spouse, partner, whatever. I know that on occasion, I have done things to give the other person a reason to distrust me but my motives have not been bad. One time suspicion arose and I did something that is out of my normal self. Another time I know that it looked that way but I was actually trying to do something cute. Under the scanner of suspicion, it certainly would have been viewed in the wrong light.

I want to lie as little as possible but am caught in a dilemma. If I tell people about my intentions, I will get either a lecture or admonishing. To avoid that I would prefer to embellish the truth but I would really rather just be out with it. I'd rather face the consequences of the truth than live with the guilt of the lie when it comes to my partner.

No comments: