Thursday, October 16, 2008

Should I give up my space?

As centuries pass by the lines are blurring between males and females. Did it start with feminism? Then came the metrosexual man. The words danced in front of me – pantyhose for men??? It’s fair, I suppose, that men wear skirts – after all, we women do don male attire. I’m still shocked. I guess anything that defies conventionality initially causes a stir before it settles into a way of life.

To evolve we need to progress; this entails change. The more open our minds are, the easier it is to move forward. Traditions and conventions are dying anyway. The bright side is that newer ones are taking their place.

Today I’m confused again. My folks think I should remarry considering the lonely life ahead otherwise. Although I understand where they are coming from, I still balk at the thought of someone invading my space. After the last fiasco, marriage is hardly an alluring prospect. Catch 22 – if I do, then I lose my freedom; if I don’t I end up alone.

I’m getting too fond of my solitary existence – the space is growing and I seem to be embracing it with more vigor as the days pass by. I find contentment in solitude. Is this how the Himalayan masters survive in peace? Is this what Buddha was talking about when he lectured about Nirvana? I’m sure there’s a lot more to attaining everlasting peace. The gist is that I like space – and lots of it.

Would I give that up for a man? Would he give me my space? Do I risk heartache once again? Do I want a man in my life? At present my life is quite peaceful. I have everything I need to survive – food, shelter, clothing and even company. I have my passions and entertainment. The only area I can say is lacking in totality is sex. Yet, the physical need can be satisfied – the emotional one has been lying dormant for a long time.

I want a mate to complement my life, not complete it. I am complete. So I guess I'm ready???

1 comment:

shri ramesh sadasivam said...

I read a few post of yours. Even in my life there were a few bitter experience that was screwing up my present happiness. But then, I was practicing spiritualism to the best. Reading Ramayana, chanting the name of Rama meditating etc. Now everything has been erased of. Not a big magic. Just that when you want to forget something bitter think of something sweet. And let that sweet not be a deceiving sweetness.