Thursday, March 12, 2009

Closing last time

Is it possible that deep rooted resentments, disappointments from the past, sometimes incidents that have left a mark from a long time ago can surface when you least expect it? Well, that’s a rhetoric question really; putting this down is a way of letting go.

Referencing Louise Hay~You Can Heal Your Life helped open some doors that I assumed had long since been closed. I’m revisiting some parts of my childhood that I think have made a lasting impression; some habits and mindsets that became a way of being without me having the slightest indication that it was more assumed than the real me. I didn't realize how easily the adopted mannerisms latched on. I'm happy that I've matured enough to see the light and make appropriate changes (sounds so corporate style! appropriate changes indeed!); well, at least take steps to be a better person.

The rediscovery or rather the discovery of the real, true self isn’t something that happens in a day. 4-Nov-2008 will always be dear to me. This was the day it all started……a new life, new hope, new feelings…….From then on I’ve been going through a process of moulting.

I feel like I’ve released something substantial….just the awareness that the past had somehow crept into the present and tickled some spots was enough to set me off on the path of letting go. Some days I feel like I’ve dealt with it all and completely let go; then I catch myself doing a mental crib and realize that it’s not all gone.

Like clearing this stomach of mine, completely flushing out all the toxins, waste, etc., will the mind flush take the same amount of time? Are they both linked? Of course they are :-); that’s the principle behind these books.

I know that the doors have to be closed one final time. I find immense strength, support, love and trust from my partner.......I'm grateful that I found this wholesome feeling in this lifetime.

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