The last year was a bumpy ride though until almost the end of the year I was blissfully unaware of how turbulent the ride was indeed! Lost in my sea of ignorant bliss, I was rudely awakened from my comatose form during the Landmark Forum.
I can’t really explain the Landmark Forum – but I will attempt to…very briefly. This three-day program gets into your psyche, shakes it up and makes you aware of what you didn’t know was present. Sound crazy??? Well, you really need to experience it J. At the Landmark Forum, I started becoming aware of myself, the way I behave, the way I perceive others, the dormant emotions that I thought I had expelled, how I react and how I DO NOT listen at all when people are talking to me. It was three days of emotional upheaval and then, I signed up for the Advanced Course.
Another three days of delving deeper into myself…whew! It was exhausting and believe it or not, it was simultaneously invigorating. I never thought I would be so moved. In fact, I highly recommend these two programs to everyone. It’s worth the money spent.
Moving on, I’ve been so cut off from the world, disconnected from people. In fact, I’ve been like this for the last two years. I don’t know why! I seem to have given up on myself in so many little ways. In my quest for fulfillment, I’ve lost my spark.
I’m a perfectionist. There – I said it. And it’s not always a good thing, especially when I come down hard on myself for falling short. I discovered this very recently. I didn’t even know that I was a perfectionist. I’ve been trying to prove to the world that I am great and in this journey, I failed to notice that whenever I failed to achieve perfection, I come down too hard on myself. Even 99% isn’t good enough!
Two years ago, I had a lot of spunk…or maybe that was three years ago. I believed in possibilities. I used to make affirmations and many of my convictions materialized into reality. Then, I lost it along the way and I’m trying to find my way back.
You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.
I don’t make New Year resolutions in particular, but I do make resolutions. I have to start believing again, believing in life, in myself and the universe. The possibilities are endless.
I am back.