Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Not fair to blame parenting

When a person does something that seems impolite in your eyes, is it fair to blame upbringing for that gaffe? It may not even be an error in the perpetrator’s eyes.

X commented that it was disrespectful to refer to people by their given names; the implication was that you call them by their titles in relation to you. Although I can understand that line of thought, I don’t believe that calling a person by name is disrespectful. You can disrespect someone and call them by title, but what purpose does it serve?

Can you blame parents for the way a child behaves? I don’t think so. As we pass through life, we pick up habits, feelings, impressions and mannerisms. We create our individuality, and parenting, to a large extent has less to do with it.

I meet many people (primarily male) who have no respect for peoples’ time. Can I blame that individual’s parents for not instilling him / her with the values of respecting time? These people keep other’s waiting, almost always. They commit to a time and never reach. What about those who make promises they never keep? Or those that smoke, drink and drive, unleash violent tempers, or even litter the road? Is parenting to blame?

There are some values that are ingrained. We have to realize that even though we know ‘good’ from ‘bad’, we don’t always choose ‘good’. This is a choice that we make as an individual. It’s annoying when a statement is made with the blame placed squarely in the wrong pocket. We should think before speaking; look into ourselves whether we display those negative characteristics that we fault others.

There’s difficulty in seeing failure within. Victory lies in learning from the mistakes committed and adapting to changes as they come along.

No comments: