Saturday, September 13, 2008


I smile when I see those pop ups. Some people know how to bring a smile on. Vivid imagery, pulling of legs, glimpses of shimmering splendor and a promise of a wild time – how sweet!


Damn, I wish I had to money to take off – right now. I know I can, but prudence advices to set up for a rainy day before indulging in a lavish splurge. I’m tempted, but somehow it feels distasteful to take advantage of someone’s bountiful generosity just to get away from it all.


A leap into the unknown – gosh, that’s scary. I have done the overall CV; now, I have to just create separate approaches for the areas I’m targeting. I don’t know if getting away from here will land me security; but hanging around here is too painful to endure.


No matter what I say, the constant tug in that direction is killing me. Every time I’m within sight, I feel like maybe it can work again, even knowing that the pain will be inflicted all over again – same spots and new ones. What’s with me and this crazy neediness for slow torture?


And then something explodes inside me when I see the option card slapped in my face over and over. It’s time to put the past behind – once and for all and forge a new bond, one without a tie to the heart. I should take the plunge and head out there; take a risk with it and see what happens. Hmmm – not a bad idea.

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