Triggers

I think I can only write when something triggers passion inside me. It’s infuriating to drive in Bangalore. There is no lane discipline, no etiquette, and no rules – its mayhem! I watched this guy in a Verna ahead of me, stop – right in the middle of road, at peak-hour evening traffic, and hold up an entire lane for 5 minutes while he spoke to the cop, who, by the way, cared two hoots for the pile up happening in front of his eyes. I wish I could have drummed up the courage to get out and smack them both hard. But, woman that I am in this male infested land that respects them little, I sat tooting my horn instead!!!

 

I don’t normally suffer from road rage. For a long time I lost my short-temper, worked on staying calm, and leading a peaceful life. I let myself get worked up for matters of no importance, and here I am again – overwhelmed by hurt and rage, anger and pain. Will the tears eventually rust the built up feelings? It’s not washing them away as easily.

 

I wake up every morning and go to sleep at night thinking of all the good things in life, the things I should be thankful for, the people who really care about me, the ones that I love dearly; the monster stands over my shoulder muttering about deception and lies, and the feelings return in intensity.

 

I am alone again, loneliness a constant companion – at least I’m leading a healthy lifestyle again – eating well, sleeping well. These last few months, since Feb, I've had an erratic sleeping and eating pattern. Health neglected. Looking back, I've been alone, mostly, with a smattering of company in between. But for the most part, alone. So I really shouldn't be feeling that any added value was interspersed somewhere, huh?

 

I’m moving away from here as soon as I can. I’m on it – the wheels are in motion. I hope it happens soon.

Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.


So - if you give her crap, you will receive a bucket full of shit.