Friday, October 3, 2008

Screw love

I swear I could kick myself for losing my composure. Old feelings of anger, pain and resentment came back with a vengeance. It’s so hard to be in a situation where the constant reminder of unimportance and use are slapped smack in your face. Therefore, I learned to avoid and seemed to be doing so well. I went out with other people, I lived my life without a certain someone, and then I realize that somewhere inside, the pain hadn’t receded fully.

I get lonely sometimes. I want the companionship of a special someone. I want to feel loved and wanted, cherished and romance. Above all, I want him to show me that I mean so much that he’d seriously fly to the moon, give up certain things; basically do whatever it takes to win my heart and hand.

A fool for such a fairy tale – I live the sorry life of a woman hanging onto threads of a dream, refusing to believe that such love exists in myth only.

Screw love. The man ain’t worth it!

I seriously want to get out somewhere else. I think I should perhaps seriously take up suggestions just as a stepping stone away from here at least. The people out here will never change – they’ll either talk about you or use you. Either way, the only loser will remain ‘Poor ol me’! Look at me – I was doing so wonderful until yesterday. I eased out of negative thoughts, was feeling sort of ok, thinking positive and on the road to recovery – and now the devil laughs once more as I succumb to his ploys and get sucked back into depression.

I’m bouncing back – Devil go hang.

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