Monday, November 24, 2008

An awareness sets in

There are sentiments and emotions, experiences and feelings that words cannot begin to describe in entirety the essence of profundity that emanates from just being… in relationship?

Out of the shadows and prancing onto the patio, we see our lives taking a turn for the better (? This isn’t really a question mark, just an incredulous thought). An awareness of a new phase and the degree of transformations and accommodations settles in slowly. The shifting sands of emotion paints a picture of life ahead…each tiny step towards each other brings an additional measure of color and clarity into the picture. We’re making room in our lives for one another…filling the space bit by bit, yet holding onto a wee bit of space to retain our individuality.

Is it anxiety that makes us dissect every action and thought? Are we so affected by the past that we feel the need to anticipate so many crossroads, and have a path cleared out before we reach the junction? Why is it that at 32 and 38 we can’t throw caution to the wind and cross bridges as we come to them? Is building castles in the air too juvenile because of our life’s experiences? If the answer to all of the above is yes, then why does my heart skip a beat when the phone rings and I see a star? Why can’t I stop smiling in the middle of a thought, or wait for a reach, a touch, a pat? Why can’t we wait to see each other again? Why do I daydream? Why, why why? Are we going though life questioning too much? I treasure our moments together, and revel in the intensity of the current state that we both are in.

I truly love that we’re open about our thoughts and feelings. I’m fighting this battle within between playing it safe or plunging. Have I already stepped off the cliff without realizing that my feet are no longer on firm ground? Why does the thought of spiraling into a new dimension not frighten me? I like the taste of adventure. Let me not fret over the myriad questions that we keep tossing at each other…discovering ourselves and one another is very interesting indeed.

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